December 9 2011: Living and Celebrating
Today i am alive , still split between the miracle of being and the question of why am i here ... between the surrender to what is and thedisorientation and perseveration of neck and brain pain , numb arms , lung congestion and diarrhea ... and the shoulds of what i am to DO about it all - the fear of my body not working “right” driving me into madness... asking over and over am I living pure enough , loving enough , doing enough yoga, whatshould I eat , maybe I shouldn’t eat , what can i do tomake it go away so i can live my life and serve with my talents ... are we all having this experienceor is this justme ? I will say i feel particularly self absorbed and distracted around bodily discomfort and more and more - through the modeling of my father, waking up and remembering the fact that ... we don’t fix these things then get back to celebrating and living - we live and celebrate in the midst of all ofit - morning practice just there to be with it , face it and breath life force into it ... numb arms and all ... Each moment i am accepting this more and taking responsibility for my souls journey rather than feeling victimized by it . Healing with affirmations and acceptance of the fullness and beauty of all that is, exactly as it is ! Today.. the full moon eclipse ... I am quite positive the intensity of being today has everything to do with this ... a handy lil cleaning tool the universe offers us to clean up the static along this soul path . A cross breed between a broom and an amplifier. So with a smile and a deep breath I dance toward the eclipse through the loud dust that is leaving me ...Lets get this party started ...shall we ?!
December 10 2011 : Simple Pleasures
The full moon is still glowing in me on this rainy morning...the moon shifted form and is now these thick milk white clouds spilling down and around and through the mountains canopy, keeping the memories of last night wet in my body mind. The sweet kinship of the singing hippo goddess rock and the dancing driftwood starring up at the moon at the waters edge with Barbara , my 62 year old timeless, wise, elvin kindred, muse human that walks by my side these last 2 weeks, were the perfect companions for this full moon folly of pulling up emotional tap roots , wonder lusting at moon shadows and drumming a song to la luna ... as the rest of our little tribe retired early after our contemplation with fire , miracles and word share ... Residue like the river lace holds me together today ... I am soft , hopeful , curious and relaxed ..my arms only slightly numb today giving me inspiration to get them strong and out grow this weakness that seems to creep in here when I am not looking . Calling on my mothers strength today with getting up and trying again...giving life your all one more time, again and again
....So I begin again ... with tidying up , putting oatmeal on the stove and invocations to the land ...spreading this lace out into the misty day , my arms reaching wide with the strength of my hearts joy of simple pleasures.
